FUCKIN A, COTTON, FUCKIN A

just as a warning, this ones pretty long, but our night was awesome, and its well worth the read. i get a chub just thinking about the goings-on.

tonight, we, pwhn, set out with a different goal. several times we have seen groups of people congregate in the pearce senior way parking lot near the tennis courts. someone (wayne) thought it would be an excellent idea if we used his water balloon slingshot on one of these groups. as we loaded up and drove by the parking lot, one group of said people remained (with neon undercarriage lights, of course). we parked lockes car and climbed over the fence onto the b-field for a run at a water spigot to fill some balloons. after filling 5, we walked into the slingshots range, only to have 3 pop in the grass, one drop from the slingshot, and successfully fire one that overflew its target by an immeasurable distance. we returned to fill more water balloons (6 this time), but by the time we came back, the group had scattered.

someone (wayne) had the brilliant idea of climbing up on top of pearce and shooting the balloons at traffic on coit. but as we were walking, pervo called and said he needed picked up to join the group. locke left with his car to get pervo whilst wayne and pollock managed to find a way onto the school with water balloons, a chair, and full bladders (which were emptied over the side in short order, quickly followed by the chair).

locke and pervo arrived shortly thereafter, and joined our two heroes upon the rooftops. they quickly sought out an adversary parked near the chorale and fired 3 shots in quick succession, the 3rd landing 2 feet from the drivers window and causing an incredible peel-out. several more targets presented themselves, but pwhn was unable to ready the weaponry fast enough to obtain a solid shot. fortunately, a new group of idiots parked themselves near the tennis courts, providing ample time for pwhn to climb to a good vantage point and open fire. three shots were fired, missing the group on the ground by 10 feet, 20 feet, and finally, dead center into the crowd. it was beautiful; pandemonium ensued for a short while while our heroes made theor getaway.

alas, an easy escape was not to be had. the ground group caught sight of pwhn (most likely pervos massive, melon-shaped head) and rushed to intercept us. our car had now been parked near the natatorium, and was, unfortunately, a viable target had they known who had attacked them. as they climbed to the roof to engage us in the activity known simply as 'fisticuffs,' pervo broke and hid behind an ac unit where he would have to have been stepped upon to have been found (he blended into the shadows like a ninja, but pirates are better), a wise choice on his part. pollock, locke, and wayne climbed up another level, alerted pervo they had company and to remain still, and took off, with drunken football players in hot pursuit.

the escape was quite hairy. locke thought that pervo was following us when it was in fact a drunken teenager, so our pace wasnt as fast as it could have been. the teens were gaining on us quickly. one after another, the 3 pwhn members slid down a ladder and then a large pipe, followed by the 2 teens, who were quickly gaining, even in a drunken state. as they reached the ground, pwhn took off for the neighborhood across coit from pearce. as we reached the sidewalk, we slowed, seeing that only one teen was chasing us. outnumbered 3:1, he slowed and (wisely) decided to engage in diplomatic rather than militant relations. locke managed to (easily) convince drunken joe that we hadnt been shooting water balloons at them ('whos stupid enough to do that somewhere they could get caught?' 'we were on the auditorium, nowhere near you guys' 'no it wasnt us, i have no idea what youre talking about'). one of drunken joes buddies joined him (after having racked himself on the pipe) to hear the discussion. locke, pollock and wayne walked around the building to return to lockes car and retrieve pervo.

as we reached the car, we were confronted by an risd worker who told us to 'leave the premises immediately,' which we said we would do (after we got pervo, which we didnt say). locke dropped wayne and pollock off to get back on the roof and get pervo from his hiding spot when they were quicky cornered by 6 angry, drunk teenagers. backs against the wall and trapped inside a small fence, they were forced to talk their way out of yet another difficult situation. wayne lied to the ringleaders face ('im looking you square in the eye and telling you, i was not throwing water balloons at you. the fuckers did it to us too, and were trying to find the bastards. let us help you.') he remained grudginly unconvinced, but the other 5 believed wayne b/c 2 of them were the ones locke had convinced earlier. pollock and wayne resumed their search for pervo, quickly finding him where he had originally hidden.

meanwhile, locke is circling the school waiting for the other 3 to get down. spotting the risd truck pulling into the area where the 3 were to decend from their rooftop perch, locke backed out and quickly reversed his search pattern. risd guy walked toward the up-route on his cell phone, presumably with 'the fuzz.' pwhn dropped, and wayne carefully watched risd guy as he returned to his truck and started the engine. suddenly there was a terrible tire squeal, and risd guy had bigger fish to fry, so pwhn dropped down the pipe like it was their jobs and hot-footed it around the band hall, under the auditorium and to coit, crossing into an alleyway on the other side from the school. they had seen lights and heard sirens, indicating that there were po-lice in the vicinity, most likely arresting drunken teenagers.

locke continued circling the school looking for his mates, passing them several times as they tried to wave him down. finally, they began walking down coit (once they had calmed pervos fears of arrest and expulsion from standford), crossing to the school side at la manga/melrose, and continuing towards arapaho. locke finally spotted the trio and pulled into a nearby alley for pick-up, which the 3 gladly ran to. then pwhn got slurpees and discussed the nights events in glee of 1) getting the teens with the water balloons, 2) not getting beaten up b/c they outsmarted the drunks, 3) not getting caught by the cops by a sheer combination of skill and divine intervention, and 4) getting teenage drinkers (they were driving too, so dont feel bad for them) arrested (hopefully).

then everyone went home. the end. for now...

wayne and pollock